1. When you’ve had more than two failed serious relationships, don’t blame the people you’ve dated – take a hard look at yourself.
2. Family really is everything. They’re the ones that understand you the most and will always put you before them. It’s unconditional love.
3. Find a man that loves you even when you’re unlovable. And delights in you.
   

   My shattered wrist from snowboarding.

4. If you ever get a chance to move overseas, take it. You’ll do the most growing and learn the most about yourself when you’re outside your comfort zone.
5. Don’t be catty with other women, talk down to them, or talk about them. It’s tough being a woman and we’re all facing struggles. And, it’s not going to make you feel better about yourself by putting someone else down.
6. Have confidence, even if you have to fake it. Confidence will make you a better presenter and a better sales person (and you’re always selling, even if it’s just an idea). And, make eye contact with people.
7. Max out your company’s 401k match – it’s free money. And, the earlier you do it the earlier you can retire. Plus, if you had that money you’d probably spend it on something not as important.
8. Junk in, junk out. If you want to feel better, you have to eat better. Your body’s a machine and it needs to be fueled if you want maximum performance.
9. Always be trying to learn more. Sign up for classes that interest you. Read up on new things in your industry or competitors.
10. Use your network. Ask for favors. Ask for information. People can be afraid of this, but really you’re flattering the other person by seeing them as enough of an expert to want their help or opinion.
11. Love the crap out of your nieces and nephews. Cherish every moment you have with them because they grow up so quickly. And, every child needs a role model outside of their parents, so aspire to be that person.
12. If you don’t like your life, change it. Do something interesting. Push yourself.
13. Surround yourself with people courageous enough to tell you the truth, even if it sometimes stings. They can see things about you that you cannot.
14. If you fall off the snowboard and break your wrist, don’t be afraid to get back on it again. Literally and figuratively.
15. Push your body and challenge your endurance. You’d be surprised at what you can do.
16. Traveling for work is different than traveling for fun. And way less fun.
17. Don’t ever let your drink be unattended or accept a drink from someone you don’t know.
18. A guy does not want to date the hottest girl in the bar – he wants to date the most interesting. So, don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation and put yourself out there.
19. Take chances and don’t be afraid to fail, especially if you learn from your own mistakes. It beats never trying.
20. If you’re going to give someone feedback, make sure it’s constructive and not just critical. Give them specific examples and give suggestions on how they can fix it or become better.
21. Don’t complain about your sig other to people that are judgmental or only ever hear the bad things. The people close to you want what’s best for you, so if you vent about your sig other a lot, they’re going to question why you’re with them.
22. Make small talk with the bus or taxi driver and make sure to get their name; you never know when those little things you know will help you track down your forgotten sunglasses or wallet.
23. If you need accountability, tell everyone you know what you’re going to do. Then do it. You don’t want to be a liar, right?
24. Carry snacks with you at all times. You never know when a food-mood is going to hit, for you or someone you’re with.
25. Give up something every year for Lent, even if you’re not religious. It makes you appreciate what you have, how to resist temptation, and overcome a bad habit.
26. Take “me” time away from everyone else, even if it’s only for 15 minutes a day. We sometimes forget how to be with ourselves and rest our minds.
27. Fulfillment doesn’t come from chasing after something – it comes in the passing moments when you truly realize what you have. But, embrace it because it quickly becomes lost again.
28. Be proud of where you came from, how far you’ve come, and what you’ve learned. It really is quite an accomplishment.
29. Smile and be friendly, especially to strangers. It spreads a pretty good feeling and hopefully they pay it forward.
30. Be humble enough to apologize when you were in the wrong. And sometimes even when you weren’t. 

I seem to wake up a lot lately with bruises on my legs. I’m pretty convinced my KISA tries to leg wrestle me in the middle of the night, but he denies it. One of these nights I’m going to set up a camera and find out. 

On Thursday I woke up with a huge bruise on my thigh and another on my arm. Fortunately or unfortunately, this time I knew where it came from. I bike like I’m invisible because cars act like I’m invisible,  even in my florescent yellow jacket I wear most days. I find myself always paying attention to everyone else on the road, knowing they aren’t; I’m sure they think the text on their phone is more interesting than my cool jacket…not that they look up enough to see it.

On Wednesday I was biking in the bike lane and was literally a block and a half away from my apartment. As I was biking parallel to a parked, rusty old van, the lady in it decided it was time for her to pull out of her parking spot and into traffic. And when you do this, using your mirrors to check for oncoming vehicles or bikes is optional. So, she hit me. Thankfully she wasn’t moving very fast (I’m not sure that van was able to go fast anyhow). Since I’m a super coordinated biker I wobbled a bit, but didn’t fall off my bike. The lady screamed like she’d just been hit by the van. My leg and arm took the brunt of the blow and knew that purple was my favorite color. 

And Mom, you can stop panicking – I really am fine. But still be worried about my KISA beating me in my sleep.

Wondering where I’ve been?! Allow me to catch you up:

Don’t worry – you’ll hear all about it when I get the sleepy seeds out of my eyes. It may take a day or two.

Do you ever get that overwhelming feeling to write someone a letter that you know they won’t understand? I have six nieces and nephews and adore all of them. They’re still very young, but you can see each of their personalities coming out. My niece Emma reminds me, and others, so much of myself. After talking to my brother tonight I felt the need to write her a letter. In the end, it felt oddly like a letter to my four year old self. My heart aches in fear that she will struggle with having a personality bigger than herself, like I did, that she’ll need to learn to grown into.

May 1, 2013

Dear Emma,

I just got off the phone with your dad and immediately wanted to write you a letter. Then I remembered that you’re only 4 and may not comprehend most of the things I want to tell you.

First and foremost, know that you are destined to do amazing things with your life. You are a brilliant little girl and have a strong, social personality. Anything you dream of doing when you grow up you can do, and you’ll be wonderful at it. So dream big. And, it’s ok if you change your mind one hundred times before you figure out what you really want to be. But for now you can just be a princess.

Your dad tells me that you’re not doing a good job of listening. He said that sometimes you even purposely ignore what your mom is telling you to do and it’s getting you into trouble. I remember being that way too. In fact, I can still be that way. I know the feeling to want to do your own thing and not listen to the rest of the world. Now, you have to listen to your parents, even though you may not always want to, because what they say goes. But don’t lose that desire to listen to yourself instead of what others are telling you to do. I realize what I’m saying is contradictory, but sometimes there are people you just have to listen to in life. Right now it’s your parents, once you go to school it will be your teacher, and when you get older it will be your boss at work. As you grow up you’ll realize who to seek advice from, but for now you have to do as your parents say because they’re doing it to help keep you safe and make sure that you learn the skills when you’re young that you’ll need when you become an adult.

Also, you’re too smart for your own good. I know you have no idea what everyone means by that and you probably won’t until you’re all grown up. It took me until a few years ago to understand that. What everyone means is that things come easily for you. You have a lot of common sense and you also understand people and how to get your way. This is going to be really good for you and bad for you. It’s bad for you because you’re going to be sassy, get yourself into trouble a lot, and people are going to hold you to a different standard than others. Sometimes they’ll tell you that “you know better” and sometimes you know what you did was wrong, but just were hoping you wouldn’t get caught. Other times, it will be that you really didn’t know better or weren’t thinking about how what you did would get you into trouble. I know it’s unfair, but you have to realize it’s because they expect more out of you than others. They see the specialness in you and know that you’re going to be a great little girl. It’s also a good thing because as you grow up you’re going to catch onto things easily and it won’t take you as long to do homework or work on a project. For now, don’t sass back to your parents because while you’re smart, they’re even smarter and know what’s best for you.

There are going to be people that say things to you that hurt your feelings and are really hard on you. Sometimes it will be people that don’t matter and other times it will be people that you really want to please. I’m not sure if it’s because of jealousy or just because they don’t understand you, but try to not let what they say bother you. I know it will make you sad, misunderstood, and frustrated, but remember there are other people out there that love you so much, and you can go to them to make you feel better. You’re lovable and great and I never want you to lose that.

Above all else, Emma, I want you to know how great of a little girl you are. You’ve been blessed and cursed with a strong personality and I want you to know you’re not alone and that you can always call or Skype me anytime you want. Just ask your parents first.

Love,

Sarah

On November 10, 2012, my KISA (Knight In Shining Armor) and I were driving home from running errands when he mentioned the date. As I was racking my brain, convinced it was someone’s birthday, I realized it was my half birthday. He innocently joked with me and said, “You know you’re only going to be in your 20’s for 6 more months.” I kept myself composed until I walked in the house…and proceeded to start crying like a baby. Alarmed, he grabbed me and wanted to know what was wrong. I admitted that I didn’t understand why I was crying, but assumed it was the realization that I would 30 in 6 months and there were so many things I always thought I’d do by 30.

In growing up in a very small town in the Midwest you typically get married young. All my life I was convinced that I would be married before I was 25 and be done having kids by the time I was 30. I was close to fulfilling that and was engaged to my high school sweetheart. That is until college woke me up to the possibility of a life outside of my hometown. Those were my only aspirations of what I wanted to do by 30 and deep down I guess I never let go of that.

At this point in time is when I should quote Robert Frost’s, “The Road Not Taken”. As cliché as it sounds, that’s really what my 20’s became, and I chose the road less traveled. I’m now 29 years and 50 weeks old and still not married nor do I have children. But, since I took a different path than most of my family and hometown, in place of that I have other life experiences. I decided to outline for myself and now for all of you, the 30 other things I’ve accomplished by the time I was 30.

1. I’m the first in my family to get a bachelor’s degree. Beyond that, I also got my MBA.
2. I’ve lived in three states and studied in five countries.
3. I’ve jumped off a cliff, off a bridge, off a platform (bungee), and out of a plane.
4. I’ve gone on my honeymoon to Australia without getting married and made out with four different guys from four different countries.
5. I’ve never allowed for my life to become complacent – I continually find new things to challenge me.
6. I try to make every person feel important on their birthday, even if it means taking an international flight to visit them, planning a day that involves visiting three countries and spending the day in Paris, or surprising them with a trip and friends…twice.
7. I’ve traveled alone, eaten alone, and seen a movie alone. And, I feel comfortable with all three.
8. I’ve completed four half marathons, four triathlons, and many other 5K+ races.
9. I’ve been a Big Sister and mentor to an incredible ten year old and helped her and her teachers realize her dyslexia.
10. I’ve had my heart broken more times than can fit on one hand, yet I’ve never been afraid to love again.
11. I’ve learned how to meditate and pray.
12. I’ve traveled to about 30 different countries, five continents, and 37 states.
13. I’ve been surfing, wake boarding, stand-up paddle boarding, and snowboarding.
14. I’ve learned to like vegetables and seafood (which I’ve always assumed was impossible) and have become open-minded to trying new foods at least once. Beyond that, I’ve also learned how to cook healthy foods.
15. I’ve learned how to crochet and sew and made my prom dress in high school (in addition to many other outfits for myself and others).
16. I was the reigning Grant County Pork Queen for two years in a row.

    

    Just in case you didn’t believe me on the whole Pork Queen thing.

17. I’ve overcome depression and anxiety.
18. I’ve owned and sold three homes.
19. I have a strong relationship with each of my siblings and my mother.
20. I’ve climbed a mountain over 14,000’ and a rock over 1,000’ (Uluru).
21. I’m financially secure and have made a decent dent in my retirement savings to be able to retire early.
22. I’ve seen a psycho-analyst and had every horrible part of me discovered so that I can work to fix them.
23. I’ve changed jobs four times since graduating from college, each time for a better opportunity.
24. I’ve been white-water rafting three times and went scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef.
25. I’ve rehabilitated my knee and wrist after surgery to be stronger than before my surgery.
26. I take care of my skin and my body to make sure I look younger than 30.
27. I try really hard to keep in touch with all of my family and close friends, even though that number of people keeps growing.
28. I strive to make every year of my life better than the last and have succeed thus far.
29. I can bake food with the best of them. (And, I make a pretty good fried chicken as well.)
30. I can do a pull-up.*

*Ok, I’m still working at that one, but I have two weeks left.

I almost scheduled an emergency trip home today. And by emergency, I don’t mean that anything bad happened to anyone back home. And by scheduled, I really just mean I looked at prices. I had a really bad day today, but a day that is so great it somehow makes it bad. Wow, I’m really talking in circles.

Today most of my department was gone from work, which meant I had a lot of time on my hands. Too much. I spent the day emailing friends, family, and old coworkers, instant messaging friends and my cousin, talking to my mom, and texting my brother and sister-in-law. Sounds like a terrible day, huh? It was terrible in the sense that you sometimes don’t appreciate things like you should until you no longer have them. And by them, I mean pretty much everyone that has been in my life in some form in the past, especially my family.

Mi Familia

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still enamored by the city and utterly infatuated with my knight in shining armor, but I just miss everyone else that’s not him. I’ve made one girlfriend since coming to the city, and of course she’s been in NYC for the past two weeks. I made a friend at work, but she lives down in the valley.

The reality of two things really set in today: how much I love and miss my friends and family and how alone I really am here. The good news is that I date this pretty incredible guy that didn’t panic when I started crying about it today. Ok, yes he did panic – he hates to see me cry. Before he even knew why, he just hugged me and told me to let it all out, like any really amazing guy would. Once he knew why I was so sad he announced that we would be going back for Memorial Day, regardless of the cost in airfare (really, what kind of sick jerks increase the prices $150 over Memorial Day weekend when we have only a few days of a vacation and I haven’t seen my friends and family in 4+ months?). So, I guess it’s settled then. I can’t wait to hug and kiss every one of my little nieces and nephews and make sure that we’re still their favorite aunt and uncle before the weekend is over. We need to buy them some gifts to make certain of it; I’m not above buying their love and affection.