October 10, 2010 – 11:19 am

I have no pets, so WHAT WAS THAT?!! You know how sometimes you are dreaming, but you don’t realize you’re dreaming? Yeah? Well, that happened to me Saturday morning. Let me begin my saying that I may or may not have been under the influence of alcohol the evening before all this took place. It was about 5 am and I’d mustered up the energy to get up and grab my trusty bottle of water to encourage hydration in my body. Shortly after this my nonexistent alarm clock started playing low music and I didn’t have the energy to shut it off. As I lay there in my hung-over stupor something grazed my neck. It took me all of 5 seconds to remember that I don’t own any animals. Typically most human beings would flip on the light right away, but a fear took over my body and I laid there motionless waiting to hear it for some indication of what it was and where it was. After a couple minutes of not hearing anything I turned on my lamp. There was nothing there, but I wasn’t about to look under to bed to be certain. After I laid back down (with the light on) I realized that the music had gone away. And, I didn’t have an alarm clock that played music. And, it was probably just a dream. Or at least I really hope it was… I may get rat poison to sprinkle around my bed just in case.

I lisp when I drink alcohol. Most of you probably know that my two front teeth are fake. Well, unlike real teeth they are not made of enamel and dentine, but rather porcelain, and they take up more room in my mouth because there’s a bump at the back where they meet my gums. Since I’m sensational at talking and do lots of it, I have adjusted for this so that people don’t notice the bathtub in my mouth. However, I have found my kryptonite – booze. Apparently after a couple of drinks the alcohol works as Miracle Grow for my front teeth, making them triple in size. One would think an easy way to remedy this would be to stop drinking, but binge drinking with water just isn’t the same. Instead I’m just going to stop using words with ‘th’ after the second drink.

If you tell me to do something I’ll do the exact opposite. Sometimes it’s intentional because I don’t like to be told what to do, and other times telling me to not do something somehow subconsciously makes it happen. For example, my boss has only once told me what to not do at a specific training: make sure no one sees your tattoo, don’t tell them your age, no sexual references or dirty jokes, and don’t use the Lord’s name in vain. (Makes you wonder what my trainings are normally like, huh?) Needless to say, there was only one of those things that didn’t happen. (I’ll let you ponder which one you think I succeeded at.) I was set up for failure. And, he’s never again given me advice for trainings. Since being single there have been several people encouraging me to throw all my inhabitations to the wind and have one night stands. Not going to happen. I’ve never done that before in my life, nor do I understand how any human is capable of doing that. I can’t even kiss a guy on the first date, for heaven’s sake. Obviously I know they’re joking – I don’t hang out with friends that would give that terrible of advice. But, to make a point I’ve set a new goal in my life – I have taken a yearlong+ vow of celibacy. You’re probably thinking to yourself, “What happens if you get into a relationship with someone before that year is up? Are you not going to date too?” Yes, I am still going to date. Here’s my thoughts on the situation – el sexo complicates things, especially when it’s premature. And, I’d rather date someone who’s with me for me, rather than my gymnastic talents. (That’s a joke, Mom. Stop clutching your chest.) So there. It’s set. And, no one is allowed to harass any future suitors about this. Maybe they’ll want to play a lot of Scrabble in the evenings anyhow.

One big difference between San Francisco and Madison is the number of visitors. When we were looking at apartments my KISA insisted that we get a two bedroom for people to stay when they came to visit. I thought he was crazy.

When we lived in Madison we had my KISA’s brother come up from Chicago to visit, my family (that lived 1.5 hours away) visit, and J-Lu visit after they moved from Madison to Chicago. And, that’s about the extent of it unless it happened to be that some person in our network had a work trip to Madison. Since moving to San Francisco we had more visitors in the first three months than we did the entire time we lived in Madison.

After working at my last job that required me to travel sometimes 3 out of 4 weeks a month I got pretty burned out on travel. One of my favorite things about living in California is that you don’t have to leave the state to feel like you’re on vacation. It’s pretty fabulous. Another thing I’m learning I love is the excitement and pride of showing someone your new city. I find I now get excited when someone is coming to visit in the same way I used to when I was the one traveling. And today is no exception! (Hence the reason I’m blogging at 5 am on a Thursday instead of sleeping!!)

When I was in Australia a couple of years ago I met this sweet French Canadian, called Miss Mondaine. Unlike a lot of the friends I made during that trip, her and I kept in contact and actually grew our friendship more after we returned. When she got back to Quebec she decided to start up her own company (yes, she’s ambitious) and has not had the luxury of traveling ever since. Needless to say, I couldn’t be more flattered when she picked her next trip, two years later, to be San Francisco. And, judging by the airport picture she took this morning and the picture of her grinning, she’s as excited as I am for the adventure that ensues over the next two weeks!

I know a lot of you that read my blog don’t come from an agricultural background to understand that magnitude of the storm and loss in South Dakota. For those of you that have not heard about it, unfortunately the media hasn’t given it a lot of exposure, there was a blizzard that unexpectedly hit South Dakota the 3rd-5th of October. I’ve read a lot of articles about the storm and its devastation and my heart breaks every time. I’ve heard it’s predicted from 20,000 – 75,000 head of cattle have been lost and anywhere from 5%-20% of the cattle in the state.

Let me start from the beginning to give you some background.

Beef cattle spends its time out to pasture (grassy fields), even in winter storms. A rancher will have acres and acres of pasture for the cattle to graze – typically a summer pasture and a winter pasture. The winter pasture will be closer to their farmstead and normally has a shelter, natural or man-made. The summer pasture can be miles and miles away as they just let the cattle graze and “beef up”. Because the Midwest doesn’t normally see winter storms, especially blizzards, in early October, most ranchers had their cattle in a summer pasture, far away.

Some people have questioned “Why, when there was talk of a winter storm, did they not move the cattle or bring them indoors?” The first thing to know is the sheer amount of cattle in South Dakota. It’s said there are 5 animals per person on average in SD and per Wikipedia (US Census Bureau is down with the shutdown) there are 833,354 people in the state. Rough math skills would make that over 4 million head of cattle. And, with only 15,000 cattle producers, that’s about 266 head of cattle per rancher as a general idea for you. The logistics to get that many animals moved in a very short amount of time is very difficult. And, how would you fit 266 head of cattle into a barn? And, would the barn be able to withstand the storm? What happens if the animals get scared and stampede in a small enclosed space?

Also, the storm was predicted to be 10″ – 24″. Cattle have a chance withstand that. However, that’s not all the storm delivered. Instead they got 12 hours of rain and hurricane force winds, to make the animals super wet and cold. Then the temperatures dropped even more and produced 48 hours of snow with continual winds up to 60 mph. Anyone that has lived in a place that gets snow knows that even if it’s 6″ of snow, but with strong winds, it’s terrible conditions. Well, they got averages of 30″ of snow and up to almost 5′ in some areas. And, this is without the cattle’s winter hair, since it’s only early October.

Are you getting an idea of the devastation?

In addition the loss of animals, the other things to wrap your head around are the emotional and financial loss to the ranchers. The thing most people don’t understand is that it’s your business in addition to your livelihood. Generations are spent working on the genetics of the cattle to get them to the quality they want. (Unless you’ve worked in the genetics or agriculture industry I don’t think you can fathom the time and money that is spent to grow your herd through genetics.) You work from sun up to sun down to make your cattle the best they can be and to work on your ranch or farm. It’s difficult to think about anything besides your cattle.

Also, a lot of the cattle that were lost were to be sold in the coming weeks/months. Typically in that area a calf is born in the spring, eats its way through summer, and is sold in the fall to feed yards. A calf would normally sell for $1,000, while a mature cow would bring $1,500 or more. Not only did they lose those calves, but also any of the cows that were pregnant with the calves for next year. Could you imagine getting out after the storm to see your cattle dead and scattered throughout the pastures, knowing that you just lost your livelihood and something your family has probably been working at generations to create? This is why it’s heartbreaking to me.

Another unfortunate part to point out is what the ranchers are able to do to regain their financial losses. Many don’t have insurance on their herds because of the sheer amount it costs to insure them. They used to have a government disaster program to kick in when these issues arise, but that program has expired. This would require congress to pass a new farm bill, which unfortunately is probably not at the top of their list right now.

My heart breaks for South Dakota. Let’s pray the numbers won’t be as high as predicted.