I’ve been informed that I forgot to share my 30 days of resolutions for February. As you probably noticed, my 30 days of blog postings ended on January 31^st. Starting February I was doing 30 days of journal entries. For some reason I found this much tougher than writing blog postings. Part of it might be because I’m much faster at typing than writing, but I refuse to be the generation that forgets all the “old school” ways of communicating. I didn’t make it every day of the 30 days journaling, but I did a considerable amount. I found journaling to be helpful to pinpoint trends in my moods, to note self-discoveries, and to be very honest with myself on things I need to work out. I would also say that from a relationship standpoint it helped us do a considerable amount of growing and communicating. Sometimes becoming self-aware can be painful to realize horrible things about yourself, but thankfully I have an incredible KISA that has a talent for making my flaws seem easier to overcome.

Here are some of the not-so-great things I’ve learned about myself in the past month:

• I need to stop complaining/whining. I learned it’s actually a control mechanism as well as a social mechanism; either way it’s very unbecoming. I find myself verbalizing everything that goes through my head and that needs to stop. I don’t want a child that whines, but if their mother does that’s not a great example.
• I have to stop talking bad about other people. I’m not sure yet why I do it, which is something my KISA is working to help me identify. I am extreme in the sense that if I adore someone I can’t stop talking about how great they are. If I don’t like them, I blast them not only to my KISA, but also to other people. Again, it’s become a way of connecting with others, but I have many other things to talk about in life to connect to people rather than bad-mouthing others.
• I need to ease up on my expectations of others. I’ll write another blog posting about men specifically, but I’ve realized that I become disappointed when people aren’t acting perfectly or how I think they should, even though I am the first to acknowledge that I am not a role model for this. This has especially been true with my KISA.
• I need to stop inserting my opinion when it’s not asked. I feel like I have a wealth of information to share with others; in reality, it’s a wealth of opinions. I insert myself into situations where I should not and that too needs to stop. If I think a person is bad for another I’ll say it. If I think someone shouldn’t do something, I tell them. I’m not afraid to call people out on things that I think are wrong because that’s what I expect others to do for me. However, I need to remember that it’s only my opinion of what’s right or wrong and also not everyone wants to hear it. I need to start minding my own business and not insert myself into places where I don’t belong.

So, that’s a lot. I apologize to everyone that has been a victim of the above, but I am now conscious of these behaviors and am working to fix them.

Now that it’s March I decided it would be a good opportunity to work on 30 days of not complaining, whining, or talking bad about others. Granted, I’m still going to allow myself to vent when I’ve had a bad day, but I still have to draw the line in the sand between venting and complaining. That will be a work in progress. So will not complaining, whining, or talking bad about others. Wish me luck!