I should know better than to write a blog posting on it being the worst year of my life and the not have people ask question about it. I should explain that I define a bad time as the bad outweighing the good; unfortunately that has been the case so far this year. I’ve been very blessed with having an easy life; unfortunately that means I live by the expectation that things will always easy. That has not been the case this year (in fact it seems even the most basic of things have been a struggle), which is why it is currently ranked as being the worst year of my life. I didn’t intend to share what was going on but I realize that the premise of my blog is honesty and what better time than now to practice. Be warned that most of my issues are first world problems, so I’m not looking for sympathy – I know I merely need to pull my act together to get myself out of this rut. Here’s my list of what’s bugging me:

1. I had a terrible New Year’s Eve. I know most people have low expectations of New Year’s Eve because they believe it’s always hyped up anyway. I have actually never been one of those people as I normally have a great New Year’s Eve and feel that it sets the tone for the rest of the year. Let’s just say you know our NYE was bad when even our friend Jack, who always likes a good party, left a couple strokes after midnight to go home.
2. I have been incessantly fighting with my KISA. This wouldn’t be so bad on its own, but we always fight about the same things. When you combine that with the other crappy things are going on it becomes very tiresome.
3. I had an irregular pap right before the new year. They couldn’t get me in again before December 31st, and of course I decided to switch insurance companies starting Jan 1. Because I’m cheap I chose the one that had no premium, but has pretty sucky coverage. I’m still waiting on an appointment.
4. I’ve already had to send back my two Christmas gifts because they were defective. The first one was the Kindle, which was just really annoying because I was partway through a book when it decided to shut off and never turn on again. The second one was a vanity product my KISA got me. Their customer service was really great and offered to send out a replacement to arrive the next business day. FedEx put a note on our mailbox saying we needed to sign it for it to be delivered. Which we did. And we did again the second time they left a note. Then I called and told them I’d be home on Friday to sign it in person, but they decided to not send it out for delivery. On Monday I learned they were sending it back to the shipper. I ended up having to call the shipper and work things out with them to have a new one shipped to my office.
5. I lost my train card on NYE and never found it. The unfortunate part is that I’m charged monthly for an unlimited pass and without the card I’m required to pay $14/day to take the train…in additional to the monthly fee I already pay. Last Wednesday they confirmed that they sent me a replacement card. Of course it didn’t show up in the mail until Monday night, so I had to endure the SF traffic every day, refusing to pay the $14.
6. Our payroll department messed up my first paycheck of the year. Unfortunately this is not the first time this is happened, but this time it is in excess of $300. They will be adding it to my paycheck at the end of the month, but it doesn’t do me any good now.
7. I can’t seem to get ahead on the social side of things. I have emails from friends in my inbox that I want to respond to and haven’t had a chance. In addition to that it’s my bosses 40th birthday today and I forgot about planning anything for her. I can’t help but feel like I’m dropping the ball.
8. I realize that I have three amazing girlfriend in the city, but my network doesn’t extend outside of my KISA. Everyone I know is through him and I haven’t made any friends on my own.
9. I have no motivation to work out nor desire. Even the two days I rode my bike I felt like my lungs were on fire. And that’s a mere 2 miles each way. In addition to that I seem to always be tired. I’m not sure if I’m not sleeping well during the evening but I always seem short on sleep; almost every afternoon or evening when I get home from work I feel the need to nap. My sleep cannot seem to be satisfied.
10. I finally found a travel agent to help us book our dream honeymoon cruise to Antarctica. I’m learning Antarctica might just be a dream after all; the quote came back considerably more than what we had expected. In addition to paying for a wedding. We’re now faced with figuring out if we want to fork over the extra money or change the destination.
11. I’m worried my depression is starting to come back as opposed to just having a lot of consecutive bad days. I don’t feel very happy during the day, I’m having a hard time focusing, and I can’t seem to get ahead of things which is not my usual nature. That’s in addition to constantly feeling sad.
12. I’m learning of so many relationships that are failing lately. And, they’re really great people, but just can’t seem to make it work. It terrifies me and makes me second-guess if we have what’s necessary to beat the 50%+ divorce rate statistic.

So, you get the jist of it. It’s just a sucky start to the year, but in no way going to define how the rest of my year goes. In came in like a lion, so it will go out like a lamb. So help me god.