My KISA refers to me as a game changer and I’ve had many friends ask what my secret was to being a game changer and I’ve never really had an answer: I always thought it was just the right place at the right time. Granted, my KISA claims that when he went on Match.com he had zero intentions of settling down and getting in a relationship. So what does a farmer’s daughter have that makes a kid from Boston want to settle down?
I started browsing a book called “Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl – A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship.” Anyone that knows me well knows that I have no issue holding my own in our relationship, but I was still curious with some of their theories and have been scanning different sections that were of interest to me. There was one section that resonated with me and I think it might have some merit.
One of the things about me in relationships is that I refuse to kiss a guy unless it’s in passion (which has never happened on a first date) and I’ve never slept with a man unless I was in love with them. Now, my KISA is an incredibly attractive, attentive, and intelligent man (I might be bias, but I know too many people that agree for it to be just my opinion). Because of this good fortune he has never had an issue attracting women and is one of the only people I’ve met that will have random strangers approaching him just because of this. This means women have never waited very long to become intimate with him.
When we met, as I’ve mentioned before, I was on the last few months of my year long vow of celibacy. Obviously I didn’t mention this on my dating profile as I knew it would deter most men. It was our second date that my KISA learned of this. He asked me to be exclusive that evening, just a couple hours after he found out, even though he was still dumbfounded at the revelation. And, I should mention that I still had yet to kiss him, something he’d definitely never experienced before. It never felt like the right moment until the evening of our fourth date, 11 days after meeting for the first time. I won’t go into the detail on how long it took me to dance the horizontal mambo, but I’ll just say I didn’t make it to the end of the three months that were left in my vow.
One part of the book talks about how men like a challenge, which I’ve always known. However, I’d never really thought about the intimacy challenge. They like the chase, and my KISA was definitely having to chase me. Plus, it set me apart from every girl he’d ever dated in the sense that he had to fight for it and be patient with me. By the time we decided to take it to the next level he was already in love with me and my determination; he was in too deep.
Granted, I’m not convinced this was the only thing that made me a game changer for my KISA or that it would work with every guy, but the fact that I set myself apart from others was an apparent reason why he has chosen me to be his wife and no one else.