October 8, 2010 – 10:14am

I’m not suicidal – I just have an addiction. One of my coworkers loaned me a book called, “Letting Go”. The book gives you a list of different things you might think or feel when going through a break up. I learned in the book that it is normal to feel suicidal after a break up and wonder if your ex would come to your funeral if you died. Yes, that’s really what it says. And, for the record, I’ve never once had that cross my mind. I’m not sure if that makes me feel less normal or more normal. One of the things it did accurately point out is that breaking up with someone is like overcoming an addiction – that addiction to talk to them, see them, hang out with them, etc. I’ve realized that I had an addiction to Mr. Fenner. But, I have resisted the urges to contact him, drunk text him, or ramble on about nothing. Times like this I’m thankful I never tried smoking or crazy narcotics.

I have a text message stalker. Part of my job is to do ride alongs with people to coach them through selling situations. On Wednesday morning my ride along decided to not wake up when we were supposed to meet (you might have seen this on my FB posting). Of course I was in a Podunk nowhere, so my AT&T work phone didn’t have service and I had to call him from my personal phone. Rule #1 – Don’t ever call someone from your personal phone that you barely know because it now means they now have your number. Anyhow, this hoodlum continued to inform me that if I was able to help him sell udder care to one of his customers he would be forever in love with me. And, we walked away from the visit with a 6 month commitment. The following is what I woke up to on Thursday morning (I put the stalker’s messages in bold):

“Good morning sunshine”

“I thought I told you to delete my number?”

“I hope you have a wonderful day.”

“I hate you! Please delete my number.”

“Its a beautiful day just like you”

“Oh my gosh! I hate you. Please delete my number NOW.” 

“im not deleting your number just in case you change your mind about doing something tonight. i dont want you to feel left out or lonely.”

Obviously I don’t actually hate him. It made me laugh. And, I decided I don’t mind having a text message stalker if they make me laugh. And, as long as they are thousands of miles away so that they don’t show up on my doorstep.

Mom, I’m leaving for the Amish countryside. I’m serious. On my ride along on Thursday I met an Amish fella named Eli. He’s maybe 20ish and smoking cute. And yes, I said Amish – bad haircut and all. However, he didn’t have a beard, which I understand means he’s unmarried. Anyhow, he kept looking at me and smiling. And, he was rather chatty. And flirty. So, I decided that I’m running away to Ohio to be with this Amish fella. I’ve already met the entire family (they were milking when we got there). I love Amish restaurants and cooking. I love new/different cultures. And, I love wearing dresses. It’s a match made in heaven.