Mind you, before our first date there was a lot of chemistry between my KISA and me. He was flirty and quick witted, which I liked. He was a few months new at living in Madison, so he asked that I pick the location for our first date. I suggested we met at a place called The Brass Ring.

Our first date was on Tuesday, May 31, 2011, which was also the day after Memorial Day. What I didn’t know going into the date was how terrible of a day he’d already had. He had been in Denver for the holiday weekend, doing the BolderBoulder race and visiting his friends that he’d just left almost 4 months prior. He stayed at a friend’s place during the trip and was flying back the day of our first date. So, you know how when you go on a trip to see friends you want to look your best and typically pack all your favorite things? It was no different for my KISA. Unfortunately for him he left his bag in his rental car his last night and woke up that morning to a smashed window with all his favorite things stolen. Not a good start to the first day of the rest of his life.

Somehow I felt like I already knew him, and before our date reminded him to not be late. Ironically, I ended up being the one that was late, having gotten out of work later than planned. He seemed less than amused when I walked up and saw him sitting on the patio outside The Brass Ring waiting for me. One of the things he’d asked me before our date was what I did for a job. I told him it was probably best I told him in person, because how do you really explain to someone that you work for a bull semen company, especially a city slicker? I decided to break the ice with the story about where I worked, how the bull semen collection takes place, how the insemination works, everything. He didn’t even crack a smile. Tough crowd. He then shared a story about how one of his coworker’s father thought my KISA was gay. I asked my KISA if he was gay. He said no. I asked if he’d ever been with a man before. He said no. So, I asked how he was so sure if he hadn’t tried it. Apparently I need lessons on what to say and not say on a first date.

During the rest of the dinner I tried to get him to relax and open up, but he wasn’t interested. If you ask him for his opinion on the date, he’d tell you he felt like he came unprepared for an interview. After dinner, again trying to get him to relax, I challenged him to a game of shuffleboard. I’m normally pretty good at it, but he somehow beat me in two out of the three games. We then moved on to pool, which I’m terrible at, and I somehow beat him in two out of the three games. Unfortunately since I beat him there was never an opportunity for him to lean in behind me to teach me how to play better while whispering sweet nothings into my ear. Things seemed a little more light-hearted by the end of our first date, but I knew I still needed a second date for him to realize that I was the woman he was going to marry.

As we were walking out of The Brass Ring to head to our cars we kept a safe distance between us. I turned and went in for the close, asking if he’d like to go on a second date. He paused, but said yes. I asked him when, and listed off a couple days later that week I was free. (If you ask my KISA, my response was, “WHEN?” in as deep of a voice as you can muster, while staring him dead in the eyes.) He said Saturday, and we went our separate ways as I plotted what I’d need to do on our second date to win him over…